Monday, April 24, 2006

Although I know word gets around, I don't want anyone to think that I am trying to keep things to myself. It's just hard to bring it up to people, and sometimes it's easier to rely on word of mouth. So, Ithought maybe a "sisters and aunts" email group would be a good idea. Some of you already know the latest, but here goes: I do have breast cancer. It is low grade, type "1", NOT the fast growing type. It is, however, a "sizeable" tumor, about 3 cm. Because of the size, there is a 1 in 3 chance that some stray cells have already broken off. Therefore, the surgeon wants to do chemo first, to zap any strays and to hopefully shrink the main mass. He said this will be my best shot at breast preservation. Surgery first would have to be more radical, so hopefully, the chemo will do what we hope, and the surgery will be simpler.I did testing last week, cat scan, bone scan and muga (?) scan (for the heart). Haven't heard on any results yet. The surgeon's nurse said she would call me. I have an appt with the oncologist on May 3rd, so until then, I won't really know anything more. I've accepted doing chemo, and possibly being sick, and losing my hair, and eyebrows, and eyelashes. But that all is temporary. I'm not prepared to lose a breast, so I'm frankly not able to think past the chemo. One step at a time; sometimes blinders are helpful.

So, hoping I will not be too sick w/ the chemo, and that I will be able to work through it and not miss too much work that will end up being unpaid. I work for a good company, and my upper management is very understanding and supportive. I don't know that Brad fully understands what I'm up against and that I may be sick, and technically now, am already sick. I can't seem to get any more help out of him, or any better attitude toward helping. Does some of this 14 yr-old attitude magically go away when they turn 15? Or is it just something new to replace it? I guess I shielded him from too much of what Mom was going through when she was sick with her chemo and surgeries. Or, he may be just keeping it inside to deal with it. I don't know. His dad was going to have a talk w/ him about helping me more, and asked what he could do to help, but we all know how good he is w/ follow-through. Haha. My ward is very supportive. Dorothy, I was surprised that Lori and Tom hadn't heard yet; must be because they are in Primary. Lori came looking for me after the block and gave me a big hug and offered her support. Mom's cousin Louella is in my ward. Her husband, Gene is actually my home teacher, and that is how we discovered we were related. They check up on me regularly. I will let everyone know after my appt w/ the oncologist what the game plan is.